Change is never a loss – it is only change
1. Change doesn’t rattle you so much. You realise the very nature of our reality is change – nothing stays exactly the same. Wise people realise this and suffer less when they lose or break their favourite thing, when their job title changes, their holiday ends, when connections change or friendships die… you go with the flow and don’t fight or resist the current of life.
2. You can let others win the battle. You pick and choose your battles wisely and don’t need to win. You can let things slide and apologise simply to keep the peace. This doesn’t mean that you let people walk all over you and don’t stand up for yourself or what’s right! But you realise that some battles aren’t that important, aren’t worth the grief, and just won’t end well regardless – especially arguments with closed-minded people.
3. You have tolerance. You no longer judge others in an instant and in such a black and white way. You realise that, just like you, everyone has issues and there are reasons (we may not know) that drive people to do what they do. You aim to understand instead of judge and stick a label on someones back.
4. You’ve made peace with where you’re at. You realise that sometimes life just doesn’t turn out the way you hoped, dreamed or planned but you’ve made peace with where you’ve ended up. Feelings of desperation to have more, be more, do more, achieve more have softened. You feel a sense of peace with your life – as it is. Wise people accept their past, find joy in what they have right now, and look forward to what the future may bring!
We can gradually drop our ideals of who we think we ought to be, or who we think we want to be, or who we think other people think we want or ought to be ~ Pema Chodron.
5. You’ve let go of unrealistic expectations and ideals. The wise don’t project unrealistic expectations, fantasies and ideals onto others or themselves. You realise we are all fallible human beings – pretty much fumbling our way through life! You no longer expect others to live up to your fantasies and you don’t expect others to fill the voids in your life. You don’t expect yourself, or others, to be perfect.
6. You can control your emotions. You’re able to control the fire of anger when it arises so you don’t lash out and hurt others. When emotions arise you feel them, but then, like clouds drifting through the sky, you let them drift on by… You take full responsibility for your emotional reactions and know that no one can make you feel a certain way. Your response to events and people is in your control.
7. You’ve stopped saving things for special occasions. You realise that life is unpredictable and you just don’t know what’s around the corner. You no longer save your favourite perfume or outfit for just a few outings a year. You burn your favourite candles instead of letting them gather dust in a corner! Every day is a ‘special day’ simply because you’re alive. You realise that we all eventually leave this life behind, you can’t take anything with you, so you may as well bloody use it!
To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it ~ Confucious
8. You’ve stopped over-analysing. You’re ok not having all the answers. You don’t spend too much time over-analysing and desperately trying to work out why certain things have happened. Your internal questioning and searching is relaxed and curious – you let realisations come naturally and don’t stress (like staying up all night thinking) if you can’t find meaning or a reason for things. Yep, you’ve stopped driving yourself crazy.
9. You realise you always have a choice. You see life as a series of choices that brings results and experiences. A wise person transforms feelings and thoughts of being ‘trapped’ in their life and circumstances to recognising that they always have the freedom of choice. Even if you can’t change external circumstances right now you know you always have the choice to choose a more positive state of mind. You know that simply making a new choice can totally change your experience of life and your future. And you’re not so afraid to do it.